Confessions of an Eternal Optimist

Confessions of an Eternal Optimist

I always look at the glass like it’s half full even when it’s more than halfway empty. I always have. I’ve been called out on this characteristic before- Everything from: “How can you say that? We’re obviously not going to … Continue reading

Look Inside Your Selfie.

The problem with technology is that it sometimes makes you feel inferior. You see things you *think* you want (and what others always seem to have)– these things can be as simple as a cute new top or as major as a new career. 

But if the technology wasn’t around, would you still want these things? Would the changes make you happy? Or would you be satisfied AND confident in the life you are lead? 

I love technology. It provides me with the means to seek out new information and ideas, to connect with people from all over the world, and to express myself freely. 

However, I notice that it can riddle you with fears and anxieties about not living a life that is fulfilling enough …But whose standards are these? Are they our own? Or were they only created because technology exists? 

Why does technology have such a strong hold over us? One so strong that it is able to make us doubt ourselves and the decisions we once made in confidence? 

If we weren’t constantly being inundated with posts and pictures and party invites would we be able to just sit back and enjoy ourselves? 

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Uncertain.

I’ve been having a lot of restless nights lately. I go to bed tired, but then I lie in bed wide awake. An anxious feeling consumes me. I am excited, nervous, scared shitless. Up until now, life has been a single staircase and I just took steps. But now, as I’m preparing to graduate college, I take my final step. But my final step to where? It doesn’t just stop. I see doors, I see another set of stairs, and another and another, I see slides and I see bikes and I see planes that can take me everywhere. I don’t know what I want to do or where I want to go and that terrifies me. I thought college was supposed to be the step I took to get to the step where I knew what the rest of my life would look like. But here I am, up at 2 am thinking about all the possibilities–and all the consequences. I guess that’s a beautiful thing though, right? This panic that I am so privileged to have? I get to dream about a world filled with opportunities and challenges, but soon I will be apart of it. It will be chaotic and messy, but an adventure all my own. This uncertainty is unsettling, but then again if I was completely certain what sort of nights would I have? What sort of dreams would I dream?